yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
