We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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