my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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