how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
