garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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