So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
