Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
