1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
