There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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