I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize