I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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