You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
