'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
