Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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