you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
