He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
