How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
