did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize