I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
now i know why i became what i already was.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
