try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
