we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
