At least make sure they are 18
Why
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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