i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
