My nipple is on Facebook.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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