As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
