As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize