Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
