wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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