I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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