make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
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