She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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