Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
