Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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