good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I need moral support for this bender
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize