I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Houston, we have a squirter
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
