In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
