Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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