He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
