But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize