Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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