no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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