He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
