He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
