Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize