Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
