i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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