People with herpes should wear stickers.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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