Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
