a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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