I wish I could punch you in the face.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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