youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
