I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize