U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
