Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
