As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
