Fuck appropriateness.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
