so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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