the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
