I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She announced her abortion via fbk
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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