Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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