I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize