so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Okay Iโll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
Thatโs probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize