I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
