There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Randomize