Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I FOUND THE LEGS
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
