We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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