OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize