for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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